Selena Gomez Is ‘Really Proud’ of Embracing Public Breakup, Health Struggles

After several difficult years—including public breakups with Justin Bieber and The Weeknd, a kidney transplant and lupus diagnosis—Selena Gomez learned to, simply put, love herself.

“I was, you know, obviously going through a really tough breakup, and then I was left with the question of my career and where am I gonna go and what’s gonna happen?” Selena told The Hollywood Reporter. “And then my medical stuff kind of kicked in.

She continued, “But, being on the other side of it, I have to be honest, it’s actually been really good for me. It allowed me to develop a character where I don’t tolerate any sort of nonsense or disrespect in any way, and I’m really proud of how I came out of it.”

Now on the other side, she’s thankful for the ups and the downs. “It was necessary for me to walk through those things. I had a lot of soul-searching to do,” the 29-year-old said. “By all means I don’t have life figured out, but I do know that during that time I was learning so much about myself.”

And about what she wants. When it comes to dating today, she’s now looking up to her Only Murders in the Building co-stars Steve Martin and Martin Short.

“Being around two adult gentlemen—because that’s what they are, they are very sweet and kind and hilarious and inappropriate sometimes and it’s the best—I just learned so much,” Selena said. “And my expectation for a man, to be honest, or any human, is to be as decent as these two human beings are. They have been doing this longer than I’ve been alive, and they are the kindest people.”

As for those who aren’t the kindest? As she approaches 30, she’s learned she doesn’t have the space for any BS.

“I find that my toleration for any sort of discomfort, usually disrespect or whatever, even just unnecessary stuff,” she said. “I feel so glad that it’s not taking over me anymore.”